Jim Varney

Planet      Longitude      Rx   Declination Sun 23 Gemini 60   23N19 Moon 19 Aquarius 49   18S59 Mercury 8 Gemini 41 Rx 25S54 Venus 9 Cancer 48   24N07 Mars 3 Gemini 52   20N56 Jupiter 1 Aquarius 10 Rx 19N41 Saturn 0 Virgo 59   12N25 Uranus 0 Cancer 20   23N35 Neptune 12 Libra 33 Rx 6N13 Pluto 14 Leo 38   23N30 Chiron 4 Sagittarius 46 Rx 25N27 Node 22 Aries 41     Ascendant 1 Cancer 49     Midheaven 10 Pisces 39

House System koch House      Longitude      1 1 Cancer 49 2 25 Cancer 40 3 18 Leo 10 4 10 Virgo 39 5 25 Libra 59 6 3 Sagittarius 31 7 1 Capricorn 49 8 25 Capricorn 40 9 18 Aquarius 10 10 10 Pisces 39 11 25 Aries 59 12 3 Gemini 31

Chapter 1. Your Most Important Cosmic Factors

Fewer than two planets in Earth signs

ABOUT GETTING GROUNDED

Because of a certain restlessness and discontent, you're not the most practical person in the world. You may even be a bit spacey. In fact, sometimes you may wonder if you are of this world. Try using a to do list to your advantage. Train yourself to do important things with the force of habit. You may be disinterested in the mundane. As long as stability alludes you, so will a complete and happy life.

TIP: Get the things of the earth into your home.

Add some live plants to your environment. Fill your home with tile, pottery, wicker, ceramics, rocks and crystals. Spend more time in the present moment. Constantly remind yourself to "be here now". Eat more solid foods such as stews, soups, cooked grains and casseroles. Get more into your body. Treat yourself to regular professional massage. Find a sport or exercise regime that you can enjoy. Walk around in your bare feet in the cool dewy grass. Work to acquire a sense of steady rhythm and endurance.

Four or more planets in Air signs

YOUR MIND IS YOUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET

Your mind is your most valuable asset; you could be an intellectual. The world of ideas is important to you. Intellectual companionship, seminars, books, magazines, films, and educational cassettes interest you. Feeding your mind is just as important as feeding your body. School can be the place for you.

TIP: In the words of Robert Anton Wilson, "You need to learn more about everything, including how to learn more."

People fascinate you and you tend to regard them in a detached manner. Consequently you enjoy teamwork and social interactions more than most folk. Sentimentality does not figure highly in most of your relationships.

You can excel in any field that requires negotiation skills. Sales and writing may be avenues of pursuit. You have an affinity for abstract reasoning, codes of law and ethics - you're very good at perceiving, comparing and communicating. You are much more objective than most people, and probably more liberal in your thinking.

Your weakness is not foolishness so much as it is indecisiveness. Too much thinking can result in lost opportunities. There is a time to get out of your head and make a decision. If you find that you can't sleep because your mind is racing, get up and work with your ideas. Get ideas down on paper, onto index cards, into a word processing machine or up and out into the airwaves.

Consider getting a brain machine and taking "smart drugs." Learn speed reading and typing. To avoid overstimulation, cut back on the use of artificial sweeteners and sugar. To the same end, you might take a mineral supplement and kelp tablets.

Five or more planets in Mutable signs

YOU HAVE PLENTY OF INTERESTS

You're more versatile than most people. You enjoy variety and become bored easily. You're pretty good at adapting to change and going with the flow. In fact, you'd rather go with the tide than against it. Put another way, you're accommodating and obliging. You can adjust.

You're good at getting the word out- by phone, by pen or whatever.

It's possible that you do six or seventeen dozen things at a time. You're certainly not suited for the Zen approach of one thing at a time; nevertheless, try and focus yourself more. Establish your top two priorities in each of several arenas of your life.

TIP: You'll be happier as soon as you determine exactly what it is that you want.

Sun Parallel Venus

SELF-EXPRESSION UNITES WITH AFFINITY GOOD LUCK AND THE GOOD LIFE

You know how to please people and you want to be liked. You can become a star by swaying others with your natural charm and style. You may be warm-hearted, affectionate, social and erotic.

Comfort, pleasure and luxury are necessary for you to be you.

Sun Parallel Uranus

SELF-EXPRESSION UNITES WITH LIBERATION FAME AND GOOD PR IS LIKELY

You're brilliant, original and independent though somewhat erratic, impulsive, and rebellious. You're naturally innovative and can become a star by adjusting your talents to the information age. Marriage is challenging, to say the least. Before someone becomes your lover, see if you are friends. Give yourself permission to enjoy unusual relationships with outstanding characters.

Sun Parallel Pluto

SELF-EXPRESSION UNITES WITH CLEANSING EXTRA COMPETITIVE POWER

You can become a star by dealing with power issues and power complexes. You can be obsessive and extreme in your drive for power. Your physical, psychological and spiritual desires are all very strong. Once you consolidate your position, you will advance. Once you define and commit yourself to a goal, your physical strength, mental energy and creative powers make you unstoppable.

TIP: Your power is volcanic Jim Varney. Within you is a crucible of creation.

You can take up a cause. You can right some wrongs. You can fight some injustices. You can change yourself and the environment. If anybody can begin again and restructure for change, it is you. You can create extreme success for yourself. Your willpower, tenacity and resourcefulness are extraordinary.

Moon Contraparallel Jupiter

INSTINCTS BRING OUT TALENT FOR ENCOURAGEMENT

You can find success dealing with the public, especially with themes of home and family. People will give you their faith and trust. You have some good luck going for you and can beat the odds. You could become very adept at public relations and publicity. Your positive feelings and social conscience make you an exemplary human being.

You can be both optimistic and realistic. People tend to take an interest in you and your welfare. Your personal encounters tend to be warm. Once you learn some moderation, you will avoid many of life's pitfalls. Once you learn to combine intellect with sensitivity, you will achieve your goals. Once you record your life in a journal, you will relate much more successfully to people.

Mercury Contraparallel Chiron

CONCEPTS BRING OUT TALENT FOR MENTORING

Read and write about holistic health practices. Assume a maverick stance to criticism. You can develop a great talent as a mentor. Explore semantics.

Venus Parallel Uranus

A BIT OF FAME AND FORTUNE

You've a fondness for innovation and a taste for delightful reforms. You profit through change. Often your preferences are scientific. Your appreciation for mechanical and electrical objects may bring you riches. You look good on film and in print. Your successes will be celebrated. The good life and a generous portion of sophisticated pleasures will be yours. You have some lovely idiosyncrasies and uncommon ways of showing your affection.

Venus Parallel Pluto

EXTREME PASSIONS AND PLEASURES

You can make money from investments and from buying businesses. You can make a ton of money, literally. You have a phenomenal ability to make money. You can make money on borrowed money and you can make money lending money. You might consider currencies and derivatives. You enjoy personal power, secret wealth and pleasures.

Uranus Parallel Pluto

IMPROVED ENFORCED EMBRACED

You command attention and control. You can move public opinion and policy. You have some very pronounced interests and great willpower. You are very good at whatever you pursue one hundred percent. You can be known for making radical reforms and revolutionary changes.

Sun beyond the Tropic of Cancer

ENERGY COMES AND GOES

Your energy could come and go. Pack your schedule on the up swing. Give yourself more rest on the down swing.

Mercury beyond the Tropic of Capricorn

EXTRAORDINARY COMMUNICATIONS SKILLS

There is no doubt about it Jim Varney. You are a "Mercurial Character." You can be: the messenger, reporter, critic, trickster, educator, whiz kid, D.J., pixie and voyeur. You can develop a unique way with words. You're encouraged to learn another language, perhaps Spanish or a computer language.

Pay attention to themes of "twoness" and you can double your good luck. For example, you can double your income by developing skill as a paid speaker and published author.

Venus beyond the Tropic of Cancer

EXTRAORDINARY CHARM

Truly, you are a "Venusian Character." You can be: the diplomat, romantic, sweetie, hair dresser, glamour puss, beauty queen, sexpot, lover and seducer. You lead something of a charmed life. People like you and are attracted by your strong beauty and style. You are naturally polite, suave, civilized, refined, and beautiful. Love and the good life are important to you.

Uranus beyond the Tropic of Cancer

SPECIAL GENIUS KINKY CHARACTER

You are a "Uranian Character." You can be a: scientist, eccentric, radical, iconoclast, soothsayer, wizard or mother of invention. Whether or not you are comfortable with the concept, you are in fact something of a genius. Maybe you're more accepting of yourself as a character, rebel, or someone who marches to the beat of a different drummer. You could be in the public eye a long time.

TIP: Utilize electronic gizmos and gadgets more to your advantage. Become friends with computers, flying machines and positive forces from above.

Something about you is futuristic or interested in ancient civilizations. You may not be much concerned with fashion and what's "in" by today's standards. You can create the standards of tomorrow. Sometimes it may seem as if your life is on hold with nothing happening. Then, in an instant, your whole world is transformed.

Pluto beyond the Tropic of Cancer

SPECIAL ANALYTICAL POWERS

You are a "Pluto Person." You could be a major power behind the scenes. You can be: the producer, head shrinker, "tax" collector or investigator. Whatever it is, you probably have an intense, all consuming approach to your work. You feel about sex the same way that you feel about many other things, it's either is all or nothing at all. Love you or hate you, tell you to your face or say it behind your back, people have some drastic opinions about you and your efforts.

You have some natural detective instincts and an ability to see through facades and appearances. You probe deeply and want to know what motivates people. Folks feel compelled to confide in you and tell their secrets. You could make your mark with a syndicate, network or the like. Learn a therapy modality and charge people by the hour for your sessions.

Your life has not been easy and some or much of what you have lived through would have simply killed weaker folks. Part of your life must have been a living hell. However, your will power and sense of control is extraordinary. You get second chances. You could be in the public eye a long time. If you choose to you can become extremely wealthy.

Chiron beyond the Tropic of Cancer

EXTRAORDINARY COACHING SKILLS

You are a "Chironic Character." You're some kind of a mentor or maverick. You can be: a sage, medicine man, shaman, chiropractor, reverend, helper, guide and astrologer. You can face the crowd and show them your unique way of doing things. You have some natural nursing skills. You can develop a phenomenal power to teach or heal. Find the right mentor and then do what they do best.

TIP: Learn a healing modality and bill by the hour or appearance for your efforts.

Mercury Retrograde

CONCEPTUAL FORCE IS TURNED WITHIN (APPARENT BACKWARD MOTION)

There is more to your mind than meets the eye. In your early years, you were in your own little world, focused internal. As you age and mature, your focus will become more external. Your mind will move into higher gears, and learning will become easier.

You may have started your life self-conscious and shy, especially about speech and communications. To those who do not know any better, you may appear absentminded. You are, in fact, contemplative and attuned to and aware of subtle psychological states. You just can't always explain what's happening.

You naturally learn through absorption. Make learning easier; get a copy of The Brain Gym. This little booklet will show you simple tricks to make you smarter.

In time you may develop special communications skills and make your mark on the world. Along the way, to make life easier and more fun, learn to make some small talk and deal naturally with casual acquaintances. Stay alert for changing signposts.

Jupiter Retrograde

FORCE OF ENCOURAGEMENT IS TURNED WITHIN (APPARENT BACKWARD MOTION)

It hasn't been easy for you to find your place in the community. You're more philosophical and meditative than most people. Somewhat socially reclusive, you often prefer your own company. Paradoxically, you have a great need to belong to a group. This is one of your most basic choices: Will you sustain the effort to create a place for yourself in the community, or will you become progressively more unhappy, isolated and alienated?

TIP: If you're not happy with social conditions, retreat, reconsider and find a creative way to rebel.

Search out groups of people who share your belief systems and with whom you are psychologically attuned. This may take some time to find the proper fit. The people that you are looking for are out of the ordinary, uncommon and atypical. Consider starting a local chapter of a national or global organization.

Neptune Retrograde

FANTASY FORCE IS TURNED WITHIN (APPARENT BACKWARD MOTION)

You're a bit self-absorbed with past difficulties and anger from the past. Sometimes you sail on wave after wave of uncharted space. In order to stay focused you need an annual retreat to distill your inspiration and your creative juices. You can make daydreams real. It's your choice; you can be a channel for higher or lower spiritual forces.

Chiron Retrograde

MENTORING FORCE IS TURNED WITHIN (APPARENT BACKWARD MOTION)

The teachings that you were exposed to early in your life may not be the ones that work for you. A standard public school curriculum may not provide the education you require. You may need to search out a mentor or spend money on special teachers. It's likely that you will have to keep searching for the knowledge you need whatever that may be.